NOMINATIONS: Best Wacky Moment

[admin]

The Upside Down Margarita Jellie

This award goes to the Mentalist fic with the best wacky moment, where a character pulls an outlandish stunt, the team stumbles upon a weird crime scene or anything that is out of the ordinary.

Each person can nominate up to two fics for this category. Please remember to include the title, author, rating and a link to the story. Also include a brief description of the moment in your nomination.

[lilsmiles]

Nominee: Danger Zone

Author: Mulligrubs

Rating: T

Story: LINK HERE

Moment:

“CBI, put your hands up where I…” Tenet said. “What the hell?”

Lisbon’s jaw fell open. Her consultant sat comfortably at a card table, a little worse for wear, apparently playing poker with a large man with a mustache and another who looked oddly like Michael Tyson.

“What’s going on here?” Lisbon asked. The two men had their hands in the air, and Tenet approached them with cuffs. Jane grinned like a Cheshire cat.

“What? Never seen a game of Texas hold-em?” Jane asked, as if it were the most reasonable thing in the world for him to be playing cards at that moment. “These two men have most graciously agreed to testify against Defouque, and this one owes me a set of keys.”

Biker grudgingly handed over a key, attached, inexplicably to small pair of pink fuzzy dice.

“Thank you,” Jane said, pocketing the keys as he rubbed his head. “My head really hurts.”

“Would someone please call an ambulance?” Lisbon said, rolling her eyes. Then she turned to Jane. “And you. I want to know everything.”

“I won a motorcycle,” Jane said, looking at the keys in his hand with a puzzled look on his face.

[tromana]

Nominee: Team Building
Author: Divinia Serit
Rating: T
Link: Here


Moment:

“You’re supposed to make a wish on it!” she said with a grin as she closed her eyes holding her floppy bunny. Rigsby just stared at his bear.

“Sir, that’s too much…..”

THWAP. Kids screamed. Stuffing flew everywhere, while Jane stood next to the machine with an innocent expression.

“Oops,” was all he said while the poor employees began to sweep up spare stuffing and angry moms turned to glare at Jane. Lisbon muttered something under her breath, while the team quickly walked to the cash register and paid before they were kicked out.

Sitting on a bench outside the food court, Van Pelt and Rigsby split off to go get ice cream. Cho decided to buy another suit since he was already at the mall, leaving Lisbon alone with Jane. She sighed. This was the exact situation she’d been avoiding all month. It was probably an evil plan concocted by Jane to make her face him. The others would pay. Suddenly, a lobster was shoved in her face. She looked at it incredulously.

“You made me a stuffed lobster?” He beamed.

“Isn’t it great?!” She didn’t know which should worry her more: the fact that Jane stuffed a lobster for her or the fact that he was so excited about the stuffed lobster. Silently, she pulled out a grey donkey and handed it to him.

“Does this have any symbolic meaning, love?” he said with a grin. She narrowed her eyes.

“Yeah, you’re an ass.”

[lilsmiles]

Nominee: Cho's singing spectacular

Author: Angela the Fanatic

Rating: K+

Story: LINK HERE

Moment:

“Soo…” Rigsby said

“…What! I’m still a rockstar! I’ve got my rock moves! And I don’t need you…” Cho jumped up on the table and started singing and air-guitaring.

“Whoa! Nice moves Cho!” Patrick said as he walked back to the table

“Hey, Jane.” Rigsby said, “What took you so long?”

“…What took you all night! What took you forever to see I'm right?”

“...Has he been drinking?” Patrick asked

“No. He’s sober.”

“I'm safe! Up high! Nothing can touch me! But why do I feel this party's over!? No pain! Inside! You're my protection! But how do I feel this good sober!?”

Patrick and Rigsby stood there gawking at him.

“I think we should take you home.” Rigsby said

“Take me home. There’s no place that I’d rather be now, yeah.” Cho sang again

Rigsby grabbed him off the table and led him outside. Patrick looked around apologising to everyone.

“It’s too late to apologise, it’s too late!” Cho sang as he was being led out of the bar.

The three of them were standing out the front of the bar waiting for a cab to arrive when it began to rain,

“Oh, it’s raining.” Rigsby said pulling his jacket over his head

“It’s raining men! Hallelujah! It’s raining men!” Cho twirled around in the rain

Patrick pulled an umbrella out of his pocket,

“Here, you can stand under my umbrella.” He said

“Under my umber-ella ella ella. Eh eh eh.” Cho chanted

At this the taxi arrived. Patrick walked over and opened the rear door for Cho as Rigsby shoved him in. Patrick gave the driver Cho’s address and a $20 bill. The two of them stood on the path and watched him go away.

“And a big yellow taxi took away my Cho man.” Patrick said with a grin.

Rigsby turned to him and said, “Oh, don’t you start.”

[lilsmiles]

Nominee: If You Can't Beat 'Em

Author: hardly loquacious

Rating: K+

Story: LINK HERE

Moment:

“I’m guessing this is your husband,” Jane supplied. When Melissa nodded he continued. “Alright, then Mr. Smart where were you last night.”

“What you think I did this?” The man bellowed.

“Um, yeah. You look pretty good for it to me. I mean, you clearly knew about your wife’s affair.” Jane pointed out logically.

“Alright, fine. It was me. You happy? I found out about the affair, showed up here late last night, pretended to be a Jehovah’s Witness and shot the jerk with my dad’s old hunting rifle. He was sleeping with my wife!”

“Well I guess that’s that then.” Jane said. “One of you arrest him would you?” he said turning to Cho and Van Pelt.

Lisbon looked around dumbfounded while Cho arrested the still-screaming husband. “I think that was the shortest case ever.”

Jane looked at her indulgently, “Haven’t you learned yet that the cases are just an excuse for us to be together?” He continued before she could formulate an appropriate response, not that there was one of course. “But you’re right, this one was easy. We didn’t even have to stick him in an interrogation room with Cho. And I told you it was an affair.”

She ignored that. “Why were we even called in?”

“Oh, our victim was probably a friend of the governor, or somebody else important. What’s it matter? Case is done now. Better get back to the CBI. You’ve got paperwork and I’ve got to take another nap on my couch.”

[lilsmiles]

Nominee: Boxers, Briefs, and Finish Lines

Author: Ebony10

Rating: K+

Story: LINK HERE

Moment:

Lisbon cleared her throat, still waiting for a response, and he smiled. “I think Oswald was a pawn. The JFK assassination would have taken guts and goading. Still thinking on possible motives and accessories.”

He had said it to annoy and his objective was achieved. Lisbon's brows drew together in a scowl. “Were you even listening to what I was saying?”

Before he could respond, Rigsby cut in. “Really? I think he acted alone.”

“Naw, definitely a conspiracy,” Cho rebuttled calmly. Van Pelt wisely remained silent. Lisbon's face became bewildered, as if she was wondering just where she had lost control. She sighed.

[poeticjustice]

Nominee: Term of Endearment

Author: ch19777

Rating: T

Story: LINK HERE

Moment:

Without allowing reason to prevail I step onto the ladder. Two treads later I am able to look inside the intoxicated guy's window. He's smoking and talking on the phone, his feet resting next to an almost empty pizza box on the table.

Holding on to the ladder, I ponder my options: The reasonable one would be going back to my car and sitting and watching in mind-numbing darkness all night. Or, I could climb up that ladder and have a quick look at Lisbon to maybe find out what her further plans for tonight are.

Well...

Plan B, definitely.

The thought of fully climbing up that ladder excites me. I am PI Jane, out on a dangerous mission to save a damsel in distress. But reality bites midway: more than anything else, this feels like a grown man crawling up a shabby jungle gym at a playground.

When I finally reach the level of Lisbon's window, my aching hands are almost unable to hold on anymore. And to complete my misery: As I peek into the room, it is empty. Since it is still illuminated, she must come back eventually, so I hope.

I alternate between hands, one always clinging to the ladder, the other relaxing. Yes, this way I can bear this a while longer. Finally Lisbon reappears, looking wonderful in a fluffy, orange bathrobe and her hair loosely pinned up. She must have just taken a bath.

As she starts to apply lotion to her legs, I get nervous.

As she continues with her feet and massages them I feel a lump forming in my throat.

As she puts away the bottle of lotion and starts unfastening the belt of her robe, I nearly let go of the ladder.

As the cloth slowly slips down her body and reveals her bare shoulders and back, I know I'm in deep trouble.

I don't want to see her naked, not like this. I couldn't forgive myself to invade her privacy at such a rate that I wouldn't be able to ever look her in the eyes again. But I am paralyzed, unable to move or even to close my eyes.

After some endless seconds of self-torture and emotional turmoil Lisbon releases me by stepping out of the room and leaving the continuation of her body care to my imagination. I let out a breath I didn't even know I was holding. Sure, I wanted excitement, but sitting in my car down there seems pretty comfortable now.

After a while I cautiously throw one last glance into the room and see Lisbon entering again. Dressed in striped pajama bottoms and a blue tank top, carrying a bottle of wine and one glass. She inserts a DVD into the player, curls up on the couch and sets my mind to ease as I realize that at least for tonight I don't have to worry about some guy stealing her away from me. I take in her relaxed and content features and memorize this picture.

Then I'm ready to finally climb down that damn ladder again. It goes surprisingly well. Tread after tread after tread I make my way down...and trip at the third to last one. I graze my right hand, the phone in my pocket hits the floor, followed by my body.

[PhoenixWytch]

Nominee: Blood Red

Author: EmmaLeigh7

Rating: K+

Story: LINK HERE

Moment: You really have to get it all, but here's a brief glimpse

“Jane? Lower your gun, let’s talk about this…” Lisbon said into her cell phone, as calmly as she could.

“There’s nothing to talk about, I’ve told you what I want: Red John, here.”

“You know I can’t do that, Jane. You can still back out now, I’m sure I can help clear this up, maybe keep you out of jail. Stop this now while you still can.”

“If I don’t have Red John, I don’t want to live. This is my purpose, to make him pay. You have him, and I want him.”

“It’s against the rules, you know that. I could never hand over a prisoner like that. Besides, we’re not even sure it is him.”

“You may not be sure, but I am. I’m sorry to hear that you’re sticking at rules, Lisbon. You don’t think that I would actually do anything, do you? As much as I hate to do this, I’m going to have to prove you wrong.” And with that, Lisbon watched the live video feed as Jane turned and shot Cho in the chest.

[PhoenixWytch]

Nominee: Dooda

Author: B0N3S-FR3AK

Rating: K

Story: LINK HERE

Moment: You really have to get it all, but here's a brief glimpse

"Can I have my pencils please?"

"Sure..." At that he hopped off Lisbon's chair and stumbled straight into her desk before dissolving into another fit of giggles and resuming his walk to his desk.

Not a minute had passed before he spoke again:

"Hey, Lisbon..."

"Yes, Jane?"

"LOOK!"

Oh my god... of course... is there anything this man isn't perfect at?

Jane sat at his desk holding up an unbelievingly accurate replica of the Mona Lisa with the most charming smile imaginable plastered on his face.

"I drew it for you!"

"For me?"

"Yup! You know why?"

"Why?" she asked with an equally exuberant tone of voice.

"Cause I like you!"